i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
