yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
