what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
