You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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