please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
