I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
