On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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