We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Say something about gay babies.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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