I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Where is the hickey?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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