GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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