Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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