dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
