Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
