I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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