it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
