Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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