He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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