i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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