Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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