Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize