The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
