yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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