found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
