What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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