I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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