Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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