"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
