I skipped work to stalk him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
