Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
