they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
