the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
