i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
