You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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