I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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