After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
