i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
