wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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