My friends, they love my intelligence
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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