Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
