I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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