just come out here and I will go home with you...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
