genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
