He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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