So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this boner is exhausting
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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