and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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