Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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