Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
