I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
