I love black thongs
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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