ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
PANTIES FOUND
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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