I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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