yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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