just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
