Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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