At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
