Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
