North Korea, Best Korea!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
