therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
