so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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