she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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