i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
