I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
