Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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