I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
