Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize