I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
