I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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