I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
