So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
