There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
